Woman Finally Snaps at Ex-Model Mother After Enduring Years of Negative Comments About Her Body, Stands Up for Herself to Her Biggest Critic: 'I'm sick of your comments!'

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Nov 27, 2024 5:00 PM EST

Welcome, tea-sippin' sisters. Mothers are amazing. They raised us and molded us into who we are today, As small children, our mothers were our whole worlds; they seemed like all-loving, perfect beings that we hoped to resemble when we grew up. Unfortunately, at some point in our lives, we had to come to terms with the fact that our mothers are flawed humans. Many of us realized this at teenagers and rebelled against them. Later on as adults, we likely made amends with them, learned to cope with their negative traits, or set healthy boundaries. 

In our story today, the day finally came for our protagonist to stand up to her judgmental, ex-model mother. After years of negative comments directed towards her bigger body, she put her foot down and let her mother know how she felt about being constantly criticized by the very person who was supposed to be her biggest cheerleader. Get all the details down below. 

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  • 01
    r/Amlthe u/Academic Bear5911. 1d AITA for telling mom I will buy my own dress after she called me fat?
    via u/Academic_Bear5911
  • 02
    Hi! I(19F) have a wedding to attend that is of some friends of my boyfriend. My mom (51F) offered to help me get ready. For context: my mom is gorgeous. She used to model, she has always been incredibly beautiful and she has an awesome body. My two brothers(33 and 31M) take after her, and are both handsome men. I am the only daughter, and as such, I think she expected someone like her.
    via u/Academic_Bear5911
  • 03
    I am not like her. I was very thin when I was a kid, but I was a tomboy and hated everything feminine. Then puberty hit, and I gained a lot of weight. I'm not obese but I am your average chubby person. 77kg at 165cm: overweight but not overly so I guess. Also I don't look a lot after myself in the sense that I don't really go out of my way to do skincare, makeup, etc.
    via u/Academic_Bear5911
  • 04
    I love my mom, and she does truly love me, but she isn't a kind person. All through my teenage years, she made a lot of harsh comments about my appearence and my weight. I'm a sensitive person, so this used to affect me a lot. I can usually take criticism fairly enough if it's phrased nicely, but I can't take it if there's even a hint of mockery or meanness in it.
    via u/Academic_Bear5911
  • 05
    Anyway, it's not that big of a deal now. Years back I was honest with mom that her comments really affected my self esteem and she seemed to tone it down. Occasionally she will still do it but not often. She just can't help herself, I think, it's her way of showing love but it makes me hate myself. When I'm next to her she will scan my face for pimples and if
    via u/Academic_Bear5911
  • 06
    she finds one she will actively ignore me to pop them, or I will be doing something alone and she will come over to comment that my hair looks bad and I need to use this different product, or I will be walking and she will comment that my belly is large and I should go to the gym. Things like that, I know they aren't bad but I can't take it.
    via u/Academic_Bear5911
  • 07
    To the situation at hand: she was giving me dresses to use to the wedding. We have always shared dresses, so this isn't news. One of the dresses she lent me was one that she used two years ago at my graduation. I put it on, and it was pretty tight. Her and my aunt tried to force it to close but it was struggling. I said that they should stop but they continued to force it and the zipper basically broke down completely. When it happened, my mom blurted out "wow, you really are fat". My aunt burst
    via u/Academic_Bear5911
  • 08
    We tried on a few more dresses, I chose a pretty one that fit well and was elastic, and that was that. Then, afterwards, my mom asked me if I really had been going to the gym and said that I would have to in my belly during the wedding so it didn't show so much in the dress I picked. I got fed up and told her that I was sick of her comments, and would buy my own dress to go.
    via u/Academic_Bear5911
  • 09
    Mom thinks I blew up at her for nothing and am about to spend money over a tantrum. My siblings think I'm being dramatic and that I'm just mad I'm fat. My friends and boyfriend think I'm right. AITA? 6,704 ☐ 629 D
    via u/Academic_Bear5911
  • 10
    Thortok2000 • 1d NTA You are an adult now. You have mistakenly convinced yourself that you set a boundary and that 'toning it down' was good enough. Boundaries aren't "cross my line less." Boundaries are "don't cross my line at all ever." You need to make that clear. Years back you negotiated your boundary as a child. It's time to do. it again, as an adult. Reply 110.4k
    via u/Thortok2000
  • 11
    Academic Bear5911 OP. 1d Thank you for the judgement. Yeah, it's just kind of hard to set hard boundaries when it comes to parents. ... 3.8k
    via u/Academic_Bear5911
  • 12
    Proof_Strawberry_464 . 1d I had to do thos with my mother. The boundary was that every time she made any comment on my weight, no matter what the comment was, that sje wouldn't hear from me for a full month. She stopped after one enforcement. Д 2.4k
    via u/Proof_Strawberry_464
  • 13
    Ok_Expression7723 Ah le Enthusiast [5] This exactly. 16h I do not want anyone commenting on my weight no matter if it's a compliment or criticism. I would never comment on anyone else's weight and I don't want them to comment on mine. OP is definitely NTA. 434
    via u/Ok_Expression7723
  • 14
    Mobile_Following_198.1d NTA. Your mom is not just mean but insecure. She likely is trying to compete with you (intentionally or not) and feeling jealous, because you will always have something she doesn't: you're significantly younger than her. In her mind, she almost always hears that tagline "for her age" whenever someone calls her beautiful. While I don't believe that ageist garbage, shallow people like her almost always do.
    via u/Mobile_Following_198
  • 15
    So she likely feels compelled to point out your flaws to make herself feel better, because her own happiness and self-esteem are worth more to her than the side effect of hurting you. Plus, keeping your self-esteem low makes you less of a competitor in her eyes.
    via u/Mobile_Following_198
  • 16
    [My own background and relationship with my mom are very similar, so these are just conclusions I've reached over the years.] ... ← Reply 1.7k
    via u/Mobile_Following_198
  • 17
    haoshengli2154 • 23h I completely agree with this perspective. It's really sad when a parent lets their insecurities dictate their relationship with their child. Instead of uplifting you, your mom seems to project her own fears and struggles onto you. It's not fair, but unfortunately, it's a reflection of her own unresolved issues. You're not responsible for managing her self-esteem, especially at the cost of your own. Recognizing this dynamic is an important step towards protecting your mental
    via u/haoshengli2154
  • 18
    Infamous-Purple-3131 • 19h That so much applies to my older sister. She is always in competition as far as looks, clothes, owning stuff. And it really is insecurity. It comes out with her ride comments, that she doesn't even realize are ride. I deal with it by having little contact with her. I see her at major holidays. 580 27 д
    via u/Infamous-Purple-3131
  • 19
    Cardiologist No8766 • 1d Look I grew up in a similar situation. Gorgeous mom, sister and brother. I was always the ugly, chubby/fat duckling. My mom would occasionally make comments and try to put me on diets from the age of 10. When I was old enough I sh that down and only allowed her to comment from a health perspective.
    via u/CardiologistNo8766
  • 20
    I would NEVER have accepted this kind of mockery you describe from my mother. This was something that I stablished early on and she understood that it was a big no from me. However when I got really obese she sat down with me and had an honest conversation that led me to seek help to lose the weight in a healthy way.
    via u/CardiologistNo8766
  • 21
    She would eventually comment on my skin and hair as well, but she would take me so doctors to try to solve what bothered me. I come from a culture of extremely vain people where cosmetic procedures and extreme dieting are considered normal, so I understand why my appearance bothered her.
    via u/CardiologistNo8766
  • 22
    You are hardly obese and if you are healthy and happy with yourself than that's what matters. Don't allow anyone to make you hate yourself or to make you feel less worthy. This is the only body you get and it's the one that allows you to experience all the things in this world. If it is big or small is irrelevant! Be grateful for it and protect yourself. Sending you lot's of love! ... Reply 745
    via u/CardiologistNo8766
  • 23
    Academic Bear5911 OP 1d • Thank you for your thoughtful response! Yes, my culture is very centered around specifically women's bodies so I understand why she is this way. I'm not particularly worried about my body, I usually actually feel pretty except when my mom comments on it. It would be cool to get more fit which is why I go to the gym, but I would prefer that any ""improvement" come from me working hard and genuinely seeking a goal for my own happiness than from my mom shaming me into not
    via u/Academic_Bear5911
  • 24
    negligiblespecies ⚫ 1d • NTA, if you want to be petty, start calling her old. People like that hate to be reminded that they'll age. Reply 1 ✩ 447
    via u/negligiblespecies
  • 25
    Proof_Strawberry_464 1d "I can lose weight, but all of those wrinkles will cost a fortune to iron out." 228
    via u/Proof_Strawberry_464
  • 26
    entirelyintrigued → • 12h I used to tell my really vain and hurtful 'friend," "yeah you'll always be prettier, but I'll always be younger!" ← 22
    via u/entirelyintrigued
  • 27
    caibella • 1d Your mom is the AH. I admire how you are trying to forgive her for saying and doing those things but they're really not okay and horrible to say or do to your daughter. ← Reply 212
    via u/caibella

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family drama healthy Female Empowerment adulting motherhood reddit story relationships parenting body image love body positivity reddit thread daughter Reddit mom healthy relationship
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